I Miss Civility in Social Media

I try to find humor in the most outrageous situations.

Trust me, I’ve had many.

My motto:  if you don't laugh, you’ll cry.

Sometimes that’s not so easy; other times it’s a breeze. I try to look for the silver lining to find a way to make difficult things seems easier, lighter, more palatable.

Today I am trying to find the funny in the interesting climate we now live in.

But guess what? I’m struggling to find it.

Think desert  — no water and wondering how we become a cactus. Ya know, a living thing acclimated to flourish in the most unlikely element.

I would do anything to go on social media again and see pictures of my friend’s celebrations.

I would pay anything to see posts showing lavish vacations, family get-togethers, children’s school pictures, good times …

Anything.

Anything other than political advocacy.

Last fall between September and November my husband and I both lost our mothers. The losses were devastating and impacted us greatly.

But these losses taught me that what is important still remains under our roof, within our four walls, and in our home.

Family is everything to me. And while raising my children, I taught them to respect authority.

I taught them to respect their elders, to listen to their teachers and coaches and professors. When they received the worst instructors, I encouraged them to power through …

somehow,

someway,

and turn those moments into learning moments.

You know, turning lemons into lemonade.

Right?

After all, isn’t that how we learn to be resilient?

Aren’t we supposed to hit obstacles and hurdles in our life in order to learn to adapt, get stronger, surmount difficulties, and conquer challenges?

Kinda like our immune system when we’re young. We face viruses and infections so our natural defenses can kick in.

You can’t learn resilience without facing adversity and growing from the challenge. To be able to thrive and flourish in the worst of circumstances can be called not only resilience, but true flexibility.

If we are always fighting against something, continuing to spew hatred and fear, what example does that teach our children? How does that teach them to rise above?

Even more concerning, why is it okay for people in the world of social media — on both sides of the coin — to continue to perpetuate non-stop alarmism every day of every week of every month of every year?

I feel like I’m Bill Murray in the 1993 movie Groundhog Day. ( I just aged myself but that’s fine)

Phil: Do you ever have déjà vu, Mrs. Lancaster?

Mrs. Lancaster: I don’t think so, but I could check with the kitchen.

Of course I like to go on social media and each day I pray just to see a silly cat picture. But instead I am inundated with hatred, cynicism, and staggering fear from people who are pillars in my community, friends, respected advisors.

Where I sit in the political hemisphere is my business. Where you sit in the political hemisphere is not my business.

But many people who are not experts seem to weigh in daily and are flooding my newsfeed with just plain fear. They are using their platforms to further their own opinions without realizing how far down the rabbit hole they’ve gone.

And in my opinion — I know, I know, opinions are like a##holes and everyone has them —but being part of a social solution includes acceptance, peace, and kindness.

And I do mean this is happening on “both sides.”

Who can say it the meanest?

Who can say it the smartest?

Who can say it better because they have more people to say it to?

You really think this is activism?

Because I don’t.

It’s one thing to talk about your feelings, if you really need to, and share who you voted for, etc. It’s another thing to continue the rant even after an election- followed with encrypted messages to, in fact, elicit reactions.

If you want to talk about your views incessantly, get a podcast or a subscription newsletter where likeminded people can come to you.

But the continual debate and inner fighting have left me both disgusted and sad.

Sad because we are the reflection of the very thing we’ve been subjected to by our own candidates.

We watched the political process with both sides just completely spewing hate and now many are continuing to do the same thing.

Oh yes, there are those who hide it behind the veil of just wanting to “preach love.” But this is anything but love.

Our country lives and thrives on drama.

Everyone trying to prove why they’re right, non-stop anger and hostility on display for all your social media platform to see. Each person getting angrier, more indignant, meaner.

When did our country become a room full of elementary school children?

People unfriending their friends, offending their colleagues, using their highly respected platforms for their own agenda.

Then we stop and ponder what’s behind the extreme increase in mental health problems.

Could it be possibly that while each person is defending their position, they’ve forgotten that politics, while important, aren’t the only aspect of human daily living? Sitting behind your device and spewing hatred and rhetoric from both ends doesn’t make you right or a hero.

It makes you part of the problem, not the solution.

Back in the day, fear came from scary movies, getting sick, losing our job, our homes, our lives — or having that happen to those we care about.

While I can’t change the loss of my mother, I can honor her by living a life that is actually honorable.

It’s in living a life that starts with kindness from my own heart.

It’s in allowing myself permission to find joy even in a rainstorm.

Resilience is a muscle that must be strengthened. And like a muscle in our body, we must subject it to outside factors that allow us to work it out.

Think lifting weights or resistance training.

The more we use our resilience to allow us to acclimate to outside factors, the stronger we get, the better role models we become, and the less fear and hatred we share. If something has already happened, we need to accept it.

This is what’s happened and it is not changing.

The longer we hold onto the wish that it didn't happen, the longer we hold onto the anger and prolong our own suffering.

Be the beacon light you wish to shine from.

Be the role model you want to have.

And most importantly, stop mixing up activism with hollow shouting from the cheap seats.

Please, stop the hatred and live your life.

Find joy and love within your own life even if you feel scared and lonely.

We all have times in our lives when it’s gray and raining inside us. The good news: happiness can always be found within ourselves where hopefully some laughter still resides.

That’s my Reveal for the week.

Love,

Karin